1)beginning still feels a bit rushed. Allow 5 seconds of black with no music and no text.
2) fade up your name in silence, then follow with 'Environments inspired by H.G. Wells' War of the Worlds' - stay in silence, fade to black and as it fades (but before it fades completely) fade up music track. Lose 'narrated by' and 'it's London' - you can put the 'narrated by' on at the end.
3) Put back 'white noise' into narration - you've slimmed it down so much that now the pacing feels unnatural and a bit anxious.
4) I suggest you extend the first 'dropping down to the sewers' sequence - I think it needs to feel as if we're going much deeper and taking longer to get there (putting the white noise back into the narration will help you give this impression too).
5) Lose the 'and the district will be called London' - it's just much stronger this way.
okay - new feedback on new animatic
ReplyDelete1)beginning still feels a bit rushed. Allow 5 seconds of black with no music and no text.
2) fade up your name in silence, then follow with 'Environments inspired by H.G. Wells' War of the Worlds' - stay in silence, fade to black and as it fades (but before it fades completely) fade up music track. Lose 'narrated by' and 'it's London' - you can put the 'narrated by' on at the end.
3) Put back 'white noise' into narration - you've slimmed it down so much that now the pacing feels unnatural and a bit anxious.
4) I suggest you extend the first 'dropping down to the sewers' sequence - I think it needs to feel as if we're going much deeper and taking longer to get there (putting the white noise back into the narration will help you give this impression too).
5) Lose the 'and the district will be called London' - it's just much stronger this way.
also... I know why you're using the font, but I don't think it feels filmic enough - consider using something else - consider 'bank gothic'
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