Hey Gary,A couple of points for your consideration:I found the 'mid-distance' of many of your shots frustrating; can't you bring a camera into the action more, moving around the carriage and taking us closer? It just feels like a technical turnaround, as opposed to you fully exploiting Maya's ability to take the viewer into the scene?The repetition of the carriages feel as if they don't give any more information? We see it happen, then we see it again, and then again. I was already impatient! Is it necessary to introduce all the components in this same way?In terms of your shot structure, you need a greater variety of shots; for example, when the locomotive and the carriages join-up, the scene is begging for some close-ups of the mechanism to give the sequence more energy. Likewise the first shorts of the train on the track; it feels very 'Hornby' and again, the viewer is kept a long way away from the very thing they're interested in.The music is working nicely!
So maybe have the first carriage with the camera close up and moving along it's length then zooming out, keep one spinning with the camera static then the last one have the camera spinning round the carriage going from far away from the carriage to almost being in it.Then go into seeing the train moving back on the tracks to pick up the carriage with a close up of the pin being locked into place to connect the train and carriages. Then the last short sequence happens with the camera being on the platform and seeing the train pull in then the camera running alongside so you have a good inside view with it final ending up with the camera in the front of the train and it fading out using smoke.